pressure of speech
Friday, April 27, 2007
Ore : 1:43 AM

-what do you mean, sometimes it's annoying?
-i mean, why can't i just do things like ordinary people do? suppose i have to pack my things. what do i do? i never remember where or maybe when my things are. instead, i see them all lying in perfect chaos on the bed, it's like sometimes when you want to ffwd some parts of your life, certain moments in time that are simply procedural, time-filling, so that you get to the interesting part, the really challenging and enjoyable one..and so so i think:
i have to first reach for the cigarettes, put them in the big pocket, then get the mobile, check the time while slipping it into the mobile pocket, then throw in my wallet, close the bag and i'm good
and so it is done
but then, i do not know if i thought of all that within a split second, if it took me some seconds or a minute, or i just did it and then found out why and how..
-so how does it feel, to treat this like you do? time merging? or moving back and forth? or standing still?
-i don't know, it's like suddenly you can feel your brain
-so then, you are..like one with everything?
-no, it's exactly then, when it feels like there is absolutely nothing, and no one. not even you.
-what is this stuff anyway?

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